allichaton

I went to Helm's Deep again today, but I only did the treadmill for 20 minutes. Was really bored. And after I signed out, I used their scale (it's one of the old balance scales, not an electronic one) to weigh myself. 157.5lbs. *vhs* This has gotten me really depressed today. I've been down for a while because I noticed that my belly's gotten bigger. That's the one thing about my body that I hate. Thighs have never bothered me, hips have never bothered me, but my belly is the bane of my existence. I was *hoping* that weighing myself would give me reassurance that it was all in my head. Apparently, it's not. I am 2 lbs heavier than I was this time last year--that completely blew me away when I saw that on my weight charts on weightwatchers.com. And it is incredibly discouraging. If I remember my last weight correctly, I've gained about 10-15 lbs in the past month and a half to two months. I've felt like shit all day, since I discovered that.

I keep telling myself that I have not gotten fat. I am still wearing size ten jeans, and although my belly now pokes out over the waistband a bit, they are not tight. All my clothes still fit. But I don't *look* the same--as I said, my belly pokes out, and I hatehatehatehateHATE that. That's what's depressing me most about all of this. I don't want to go down another pants size. I don't really give a damn what I weigh. But I am superficial--so sue me. I care about how I look. And I don't like how I look with my bigger belly.

Anyway, I've made a few resolutions. First is to stay away from the damn frozen yogurt machine in Pippin. Damn thing is evil. Second is to do better on my points, even if I have to guess because the nutrition information isn't there. And no fudging on guessing--I'm really bad about it.

The third is exercise, and Erik has offered to help me keep to this one (purries, you're wonderful, hon :D:D). Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I am going to go down to Helm's Deep and spend at least 40 minutes on the treadmill. Weekends are bonus, but I want to get it in at least three times a week.

And we'll see next Friday how well this worked...I'm going to be peeved if I haven't gone down...

(BTW, if anyone has any suggestions for aleviating boredom while using exercise machines, they would be greatly appreaciated. I suspect it's most of the reason why I dislike it so much. I've tried reading--the book bounces around while I'm speedwalking. Music helps, but it's not enough.)

My goals for 2002:

1) Find a happy medium between writing and schoolwork, that doesn't leave me struggling for good grades or becoming grouchy because I haven't been able to write.

2) Keep writing, and remember that the only reason to write is because I love it.

3) I'd like to finish all three of the WIPs that I've got going right now, but that's probably not realistic, so...Finish two of the WIPs that I've got going right now, AND edit them.

4) Revise everything that I've finished this year, and continue to submit them until I've either run out of markets or have sold them.

5) Write at least one short story.

6) Remember these goals, since I tend to write them and then forget them.

I think this'll be difficult, especially with school, but not impossible.