snippet

[allichaton]

This one takes place immediately after the last one.

He pulled back before I was ready to let him go. I sighed softly and let him go, not wanting to appear too needy, even now. "Rin." He reached out and brushed his fingers across my cheek. "Why'd you leave?"

Damnall. He had to ask the hard questions, didn't he? I sighed and rested my cheek on my knees. "You betrayed me. You hurt me. I don't trust you." I closed my eyes. "Didn't trust you."

"But. . .now?" He hesitated. "Now you trust me again?"

"You saved me. It makes it a little difficult to hold a grudge."

He gave a small laugh and shook his head. "Rin, it wasn't a grudge. It was completely justifiable. And gods, I'm sorry."

"I know. So am I." Still shaky, I stood and walked to where my shirt and breeches had been tossed aside. With my back safely towards him as I dress, I asked, "How did you find me?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I have a tool, operated with magic, that I use to locate ships as we sail. It didn't take much to modify it to locate you instead."

I frowned. "That's powerful magic, finding a person, and going to them." I tied my breeches with a few quick movements, laced up my shirt, and turned to him. "That takes more than a tool and a spell. I may not remember my life, but I do remember that. How did you find me?"

He watched me for a moment, his gaze searching mine for something, I didn't know what. Finally, he pressed his lips together, then said, "I had a focus."

"A focus." I closed my eyes and concentrated. "Something of mind. To bind me to you." I didn't like the thought of that. I opened my eyes and stared at him. "What focus?"

Again he was silent, watching. Thrice in one conversation. I shifted, anxious. It didn't bode well. I watched not as patiently as I might have liked, breath bated.

He didn't speak, but shifted, digging for something in the pocket of his coat. After a moment, he pulled his hand out and held it out towards me. Something glittered in his palm, reflecting what little light seeped into the alley depths. I glanced at him, unsure, then reached out and took the trinket from him.

It was a ring, small, studded with emeralds, shining green and gold in my palm. I picked it up between two fingers and lifted it. Softly scrolling letters decorated the inside. I turned the ring within my hold, reading. "'Fifth month, third day, twenty-seventh year of King Aren's reign.'" I shook my head. "This is mine?"

"Aye." He said it softly. His expression as he watched me was intense. I glanced at him, then back down at the ring in my hands. It was safer to watch the ring.

I drew a deep breath. "Was I wearing it, when you rescued me?"

"Aye. On a chain, about your neck." He reached forward and traced the chain that my indt hung from. "You broke it while you were ill, during one of your frantic fits. I didn't have a chain to replace it with, and it was too large for your fingers. I didn't think you'd want it lost."

"No," I said quietly. I didn't know what the significance of the date was, but it was surely important, to engrave it on such a splendid piece of jewelry. I closed my fist around it, then dragged out the **ank-like-thingie** and slid the ring onto its chain. "You shouldn't have kept that from me."

He swallowed and glanced away from me. "I know."

I tucked the indt and ring within my tunic, then let my arms fall to my side. I watched him for a moment, unsure of what to say next. I could scold him yet again, for yet another transgression, if I wished. But damnall, I was tired of scolding him. I was tired of being upset with him. I just wanted to hold him, and I didn't want to feel guilty about it.

I released a soft sigh. "You violated my mind. But you prevented that man from violating my body. On that account, I think we should call it even. You kept my ring from me, but it proved to play a vital role in my rescue, so it would be foolish for me to fault you for that." I reached towards him and helped lift him to his feet. We watched each other, silent. I saw the same uncertainty in his gaze that shivered within the depths of my stomach. I tried to offer him a smile, but it wavered around the edges.

"I'm so tired of being upset with you," I whispered. "Kyl. . .just hold me." I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around myself. "Just hold me and tell me everything will be all right."

His arms were around me before I could draw another breath. I let out a shuddering sigh and leaned against him. He always knew what I needed. He always knew just how to comfort me, to calm me. His hands stroked gently up and down my back, easing the tension from my muscles. When he slid a hand around my throat and tilted my face up, lowering his and sliding his lips along mine, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed against him. I parted my lips for him, needing his kiss. I needed to forget, to steep myself in him until the rest of the world fell away.

Kyl groaned and pulled away, burying his face against my chest. "Gods above. Gods above, Riannen, you could have been killed." He straightened, glaring up at me. His sudden anger sent tension sliding through me again. I took a few steps back, scowling.

"Damnall." I spun away from him. His touch had chased the pain away, but now it returned, and gnawed on my heart. "Damnall, Kyl, all I asked was that you hold me. Was that such a monumental request?" I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes. "I needed comfort. Not scorn. Not from you, of all people."

He made a harsh noise. "You don't want to hear how stupid it was to run off on your own, the way you are?" He snorted. "Small wonder why. But you need to hear it, Rin. You need to know how foolish that was."

"Gods above, I know I'm a fool! I don't need your censure to compound the ache!" I needed him and I hated him with the same breath. I wanted to run. I wanted to turn and let his arms embrace me. I stood where I was, back facing him, trembling, and it was the hardest thing I'd ever done. We were both silent for a long stretch of time. I could feel the weight of his gaze against me, but I didn't have the strength or the courage to turn and face it.

"What do you want from me?" I whispered, broken. "I can never tell. I think I know, but you always surprise me. Just tell me what you want from me. Stop playing these games and just tell me."

He touched me, his hands gently cupping my shoulders. I flinched and shivered. The heat of his skin cut through my clothes, seeping through me, warming me against the cold and the pain and the memory of the attack. He turned me around to face him, and I didn't fight. I wanted to run, but his touch, and then his gaze, held me locked in place.

"Come back to me," he whispered, watching me. His eyes were wide, his expression open and raw. There was no deceit here. Slowly, I relaxed. "Come home with me, Rin. I thought I lost you earlier today. Please. . .don't turn my fears to certainty."

I watched him, still, unsure. I wanted to go to him, but if he tore my heart out again. . . How many times could he break my heart, before I'd stop running back to him for more?

"Rin, please," he whispered, eyes pleading. "Please tell me I haven't lost you."

I licked my lips, then slowly whispered, "You haven't lost me. You found me. You saved me." I shook my head. "You haven't lost me."

"Thank the gods." He slid his hands from my shoulders to my arms, and pulled me forward. I leaned against him, drawing strength from him. His chest was hard against me, solid, real. Something I could grab onto and anchor myself to. My hands clenched, digging my fingers into his stomach and sides, but he didn't complain. He cupped my head in his palms and pulled me to him for a warm, deep, soft kiss that sent a million emotions, a million sensations, sliding through me, slow and insidious.

I had run away, and he had found me. Saved me. I could run away again, lose myself again, and never have to deal with all the little annoyances that life with him entailed. I'd be free from Morthen's hatred, Kyl's arrogance, the apathetic animosity of most of the crew. I could run away, and lose myself again.

I could. I should. But part of me, most of me, didn't want to be lost. More than just here, this day, Kyl had found me, and saved me. I needed him, more than I needed escape. For so many more reasons.