NaNo Snippet -- PG-13
Nov. 6th, 2003 11:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
allichatonLong snippet from my NaNo, rated PG-13 for safety.
He released my hand to right the table, then gently moved me until I stood before it, the ledge brushing against the backs of my legs. He reached around me and tapped his hand on the tabletop. I obeyed silently, bracing my hands behind me and using the strength in my arms to boost myself up onto the table. My legs swung free, back and forth, and I was suddenly almost able to look straight into Kyl's eyes. We watched each other as time stretched between us.
Kyl broke the connection between us first, turning away without a word. I sat silently and watched him; he crossed the room and knelt before a dark, highly polished chest. He opened the lid and sifted through the contents, then stood and returned to stand before me. He held a roll of bandages in his hands. I looked at it, feeling my eyebrows crawl higher on my forehead, then laughed and shook him head.
"They're nicks, Kyl. I don't need bandages." I lifted my hands and showed them to him, palms up. The bleeding had stopped, leaving smears of blood drying on my fingertips.
He caught my hands, circling his strong fingers around my wrists. "I hurt you, Riannen." His voice was soft. If it hadn't wavered with pain and guilt, I might have laughed. "I didn't mean for you to be harmed. Never that." He pulled my hands towards him, muscles bunching and sliding beneath the slick satin of his shirt. My mouth went suddenly dry.
He pressed my fingers to his lips, kissing my wounds. His eyes were open, gaze locked with mine as he brushed his caresses over my flesh. He pulled my hand away and smoothed his thumb over the wounds, then bent over them again. He kissed them again; I started to frown. When his lips parted and his tongue darted out, a quick, flicking caress, I gasped.
He looked at me again. I could do nothing but stare at him. Heat filled his gaze, and spilled out to spread through me. It curled in the base my belly, thick burning tendrils that threatened pain and pleasure both. My hands flexed, running my fingers over the contours of his lips. They felt like velvet. I wanted to taste them.
I closed my eyes and turned my face away. "This is madness." My voice was a thin thread of sound. It was the best I could do.
"Why fight it?" His voice was different; a new, husky undercurrent had appeared. I shivered in primal, physical response. Damnall. He didn't have to touch me to wrap the net tighter. All he had to do was talk.
I looked away from his eyes. In the lantern light, his hair was a black so think it was almost tangible. It was damp from his work outside. The light reflected off of the water, casting gold highlights. My hands itched to reach out and feel the silk of his curls; I fisted my hand and crossed my arm over my chest.
Kyl's eyebrow lifted. A small smile lifted the edge of his mouth. "Resisting temptation?" His whisper ran down my spine like a caress.
"I'm trying."
His smile widened. I didn't like that he looked so pleased. "And are you succeeding?"
I swallowed and shook my head. Damn him, this was not a conversation I wanted to have. "Ask me again later. Maybe I'll have an answer for you then."
He curved his hands around my throat. I could feel my pulse beat against his flesh. He slowly moved his hands higher, until he cupped my jaw, forcing my head back at a sharp angle. I watched him through slitted eyes, feeling my heart flutter within my chest.
"What about now?" he asked.
I licked my lips, slowly, taking my time to answer. His eyes widened, and he drew a ragged breath; I swore softly. I hadn't meant to tease him. I wanted to get him to back up, not entice him to close what little space was left between us. "I'm having enough trouble just thinking right now," I said.
He was silent for the space of a few heartbeats. "Do you want me, Riannen?"
My eyes widened. "Do you think I would be sitting here if I didn't?"
"I don't know." He chuckled. "Even if we'd known each other longer than we have, I suspect you'd still surprise me."
I smiled. I couldn't help it. "I'll take that as a compliment."
His laughter was warm and comforting, and wrapped around me like a familiar blanket. "Please do. It was intended as such."
The laughter died slowly, but its warmth still filled the air. He watched me like he could fall into my eyes, or slide into my skin and become part of me. It wouldn't have been half so terrifying if my body hadn't been yearning for exactly that.
He moved slowly, pressing closer to me, bending his head down. His hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me towards the edge of the table. My legs had nowhere to go but around his waist. Our chests brushed, our hips matched perfectly against one another. I let out a soft hiss at the feel of his erection pressed against my stomach. I didn't like the answering tug that echoed within me, wanting him.
No, that was a lie. I didn't want to like it. But gods help me, I did. I loved it.
Kyl's face was a breath away, his lips hovering just over mine. All I had to do was shift to close the distance between us. His breath skated across my face, brushing heat over my cheeks and throat. I didn't close my eyes, and neither did he. We watched each other as lust spun between us. It was tangible. I could feel it in every fiber within me. Maybe I couldn't hold it, but it was tangible nevertheless.
Neither of us moved. We just stood like that, frozen, watching each other with unblinking stares. I wanted to push him away. I wanted to fist my hands in that satin shirt and pull him against me, to truly feel his body against mine. This light brushing wasn't enough. My body yearned for more. It yearned for everything.
"Riannen." His voice was low, husky. Almost unrecognizable. I swallowed the stone in my throat.
"What?" It was a hoarse whisper. Damnall, I couldn't manage more.
Kyl shifted. He stroked a hand across my cheek; I shivered. "Don't fear me."
I shook my head. "I'm not afraid of you, Kyl." It was the truth. I was afraid of many things, but not him. Not anymore. Some small place in the back of my mind shouted that that was a very bad thing. But it didn't seem to matter.
"You're afraid of something." The pressure of his touch increased. He ran his fingers down my cheek, easing away the tension gathered at the edges of my mouth and corners of my eyes. "You can't deny that."
"No." My breath shuddered as a inhaled. "But I'm not afraid of you. Just...wary. Of this." I swept a hand out, gesturing at everything and nothing.
He nodded. I didn't need to elaborate. "Why wary?" His hands pulled me even tighter against his body. "I won't hurt you, Riannen."
"I know." The breath backed up in my throat. He had no right to feel that good against my body. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't."
"Then what?"
"Damnall, I don't know." The desperation in my voice, or something in my face, must have pulled him out of his lust. He took a small step back, not leaving me, but giving me space. I was grateful for it as I bent over, elbows propped on my knees, breathing in choking gasps. "Dammit, Kyl, I don't know. I don't know bloody anything." My voice was harsh, grating to my own ears from emotions I couldn't name. I drew my knees up to my chest, heels propped on the edge of the table, and pressed my face into my thighs.
Kyl took another step back. I could suddenly breathe again. It no longer felt like I was trying to inhale feathers. I kept my arms wrapped around my legs, but I lifted my head. I propped my chin on my knees, watching Kyl across the distance that seemed suddenly massive. Concern was etched across his face, written in the furrow between his brows. His hand lifted as if he would reach for me. He hesitated, then dropped it back to his side.
"Riannen, please talk to me," he said quietly. "I want to help."
I drew in a deep breath and let it out in a heavy sigh. Some of the pain that gnawed at my heart eased. I swallowed and shook my head. "I don't know."
"Please, Rin."
The diminutive made me frown, but I didn't mention it. We could talk about it later. At the moment, it was insignificant. I caught my lip between my teeth, biting hard. I didn't know how to tell him what he wanted to hear. I didn't understand it myself. He looked at Kyl, and the earnestness within his gaze made me long to tell him. But damned if I knew how.
The sweet copper taste of blood seeped into my mouth. I cringed and released my lip. I hadn't realized I'd been biting it that hard. "I don't know who I am," I finally said. I didn't whisper; I was proud of myself. "I don't know anything about myself." I hesitated, frowning. Kyl waited; there was nothing else to do but continue. I released a sharp sigh, not quite exasperation. "I don't think kissing you is a good idea. I don't think it's a good idea at all."
A trace of amusement slid into his expression. "I beg to differ."
"Damnall, Kyl!" I slid off of the table, standing. But that lost me the height advantage; I was looking up at him now. I had liked it better when we had been on equal ground. "I want you. You know I want you. If I kiss you, it's going to lead to other things. Neither of us are naïve enough to deny that." I shook my head hard. "I can't deal with that right now. I can't deal with developing a relationship with you. I have to have a relationship with myself first."
His face was suddenly blank, unreadable. I liked it better when I could read his emotions on his features. "Because of your amnesia."
I nodded.
He made a frustrated noise. "You don't need a past to have a relationship, Riannen. You don't need to know your past to know your heart."
I grit my teeth. "I do."
"Why?"
"Gods above!" I stalked forward, furious. My hands balled into fists at my sides. "Why can't you just accept it? It's how I am. It's what I need. Accept it, or bloody well back off and leave me alone."
"Leave you alone?" His laughter was harsh, and anything but pleasant. "Would that it were that easy. Do you think I enjoy this? That I chose this?" His hands suddenly lashed out, closing around my upper arms. He pulled me towards him, knocking me off balance. I couldn't move my arms to brace myself, so I fell against his chest. The feel of iron muscles beneath the slick satin stole my breath.
He dragged up onto my toes, and his head lowered. He pressed his mouth against mine, and the feel of his lips stole my breath. I whimpered, a tangled, helpless sound. My hands were caught between us. I flexed my fingers, and the feel of his chest beneath my touch was staggering. His lips teased mine. His tongue flicked out and brushed across them, much as it had with my fingers. Fire licked through me; I gasped.
It was all he needed. He twisted his head, matching our mouths tighter, and his tongue slid into my mouth. Its tip stroked the length of my own, danced across the roof of my mouth. I moaned and pressed forward. Sanity had fled at the first touch of his tongue against mine, and I didn't care about amnesia. I didn't care about anything but his kiss, his taste.
He let go of my arms. He didn't need to hold me anymore; I had no thoughts of fleeing. He slid his arms around me, his hands brushing over my back. He traced the line of my spine from nape to waist; a cry caught in my throat. I shivered against him.
I slid one hand up his chest and over his shoulder, to the nape of his neck. I buried my fingers in the baby-fine hair there, sliding through the silken curls. No man should be blessed with hair that beautiful. My other hand slipped around his waist and spread across the thick muscles that shaped his shoulders. I pulled him close, loving the pressure of his chest against mine. My hand on his shoulder slipped lower, tracing a path from shoulder to waist. There I hesitated, unsure, my hand cupping the slight narrowing of his waist.
Kyl tore his mouth from mine, but he didn't let me go. I'd have pulled him back if he had. The feel of his body against mine was marvelous. He lifted his head and looked down at me. "What's wrong?" A subtle tension tightened his features. His eyes with dark with a need that echoed my own.
I shook my head. "Nothing. I--" I swallowed and frowned. I didn't know what to do. I knew what I wanted to do, but worry nagged at me, creating uncertainty where moments before, there had been only desire.
Kyl watched my face for a moment, his expression intense, as if studying moment. It cleared a moment later. He smiled as if he'd read my mind, and understood. "You can touch me, Rin," he whispered, tilting my face up towards his with a knuckle tucked beneath my chin. "You don't have to be afraid to touch."
"I know." The stone had lodged itself in my throat again. I swallowed hard. I glanced away from him, suddenly self-conscious. "I--"
He covered my hand on his waist with his own. I hesitated, then looked back at him. The heat in his gaze stole my breath. "I want you to touch me, Rin," he whispered, his voice low and husky. He laced his fingers through mine, then shifted, slowly moving both of our hands around to his lower back, and then lower. He was muscular even down there. His breeches clung to him; they might as well have been a second skin. I couldn't tear my gaze away from his. We stared at each other, silent need and mutual desire pulsing between us. I licked my lips and moved on my own, spreading my fingers slightly over his ass.
His hands continued to move over me, following the slow, excruciating rhythm that I set. His fingers dug into my back, kneading. I smiled and leaned forward, resting my lips against his shoulder, just above the line of his collar. He tasted like the sea, wild, free. I couldn't resist temptation; the closed-mouth kiss slid to an open-mouthed one. I gently licked his skin. I loved the taste of him on my tongue. I slid lower, lapping the sweat from his collarbone.
"Rin." His voice was soft, commanding. I paused and glanced up at him. He slid his fingers beneath my jaw and gently lifted my head. "We should stop."
I frowned. The sound that slid from my throat was wordless, but it was protest nonetheless. I tried to pull him closer.
"No, Rin." He put more force into his words this time. His hands slid back, covering mine again, but this time he lifted them and stepped away from my reach.
I stared at him. "Moments ago, you were asking me to touch you. Now you're making me stop." I shook my head. "I don't get it."
His breathing trembled. He pulled a hand through his hair, fisting it at his nape, and turned away. I waited. He glanced back at me over his shoulder. "I want you."
I laughed. "Telling me to stop doesn't do much to get that message across."
He shook his head. "I want you, Rin. But you're vulnerable."
That got my attention. I blinked, and my focus on him sharpened. "Excuse me?"
"Don't take that as an insult, please. But you can't argue with it--you're injured and in a completely alien environment, and you're vulnerable. You tried to tell me that before, and I should have listened then. I'm listening now. It won't be fair to either of us if we continue this."
I frowned. My hands still yearned for the heat of his flesh; I crossed my arms over my chest and trapped my hands against my ribs. "You don't think telling me to touch you, and then pushing me away, is any less unfair?"
His smile was rueful. "I am sorry."
I nodded. "I know." I drew a deep breath and smoothed my hands over my shirt. It had bunched up while we'd been plastered all over each other. "So how long do I have to wait until you decide I'm not vulnerable anymore?"
"I don't know." Regret laced his tone.
Well, at least he'd told the truth. I sighed and shook my head. "All right. Do me a favor, please?"
"Anything."
"When you've decided I'm responsible enough to make decisions for myself, let me know." I spun and left, but not before catching a glimpse of chagrin on Kyl's face. I had to smile. It had been a good exit, if I did say so myself. It would have been better if I hadn't been trapped on the damned ship with him anyway.
He released my hand to right the table, then gently moved me until I stood before it, the ledge brushing against the backs of my legs. He reached around me and tapped his hand on the tabletop. I obeyed silently, bracing my hands behind me and using the strength in my arms to boost myself up onto the table. My legs swung free, back and forth, and I was suddenly almost able to look straight into Kyl's eyes. We watched each other as time stretched between us.
Kyl broke the connection between us first, turning away without a word. I sat silently and watched him; he crossed the room and knelt before a dark, highly polished chest. He opened the lid and sifted through the contents, then stood and returned to stand before me. He held a roll of bandages in his hands. I looked at it, feeling my eyebrows crawl higher on my forehead, then laughed and shook him head.
"They're nicks, Kyl. I don't need bandages." I lifted my hands and showed them to him, palms up. The bleeding had stopped, leaving smears of blood drying on my fingertips.
He caught my hands, circling his strong fingers around my wrists. "I hurt you, Riannen." His voice was soft. If it hadn't wavered with pain and guilt, I might have laughed. "I didn't mean for you to be harmed. Never that." He pulled my hands towards him, muscles bunching and sliding beneath the slick satin of his shirt. My mouth went suddenly dry.
He pressed my fingers to his lips, kissing my wounds. His eyes were open, gaze locked with mine as he brushed his caresses over my flesh. He pulled my hand away and smoothed his thumb over the wounds, then bent over them again. He kissed them again; I started to frown. When his lips parted and his tongue darted out, a quick, flicking caress, I gasped.
He looked at me again. I could do nothing but stare at him. Heat filled his gaze, and spilled out to spread through me. It curled in the base my belly, thick burning tendrils that threatened pain and pleasure both. My hands flexed, running my fingers over the contours of his lips. They felt like velvet. I wanted to taste them.
I closed my eyes and turned my face away. "This is madness." My voice was a thin thread of sound. It was the best I could do.
"Why fight it?" His voice was different; a new, husky undercurrent had appeared. I shivered in primal, physical response. Damnall. He didn't have to touch me to wrap the net tighter. All he had to do was talk.
I looked away from his eyes. In the lantern light, his hair was a black so think it was almost tangible. It was damp from his work outside. The light reflected off of the water, casting gold highlights. My hands itched to reach out and feel the silk of his curls; I fisted my hand and crossed my arm over my chest.
Kyl's eyebrow lifted. A small smile lifted the edge of his mouth. "Resisting temptation?" His whisper ran down my spine like a caress.
"I'm trying."
His smile widened. I didn't like that he looked so pleased. "And are you succeeding?"
I swallowed and shook my head. Damn him, this was not a conversation I wanted to have. "Ask me again later. Maybe I'll have an answer for you then."
He curved his hands around my throat. I could feel my pulse beat against his flesh. He slowly moved his hands higher, until he cupped my jaw, forcing my head back at a sharp angle. I watched him through slitted eyes, feeling my heart flutter within my chest.
"What about now?" he asked.
I licked my lips, slowly, taking my time to answer. His eyes widened, and he drew a ragged breath; I swore softly. I hadn't meant to tease him. I wanted to get him to back up, not entice him to close what little space was left between us. "I'm having enough trouble just thinking right now," I said.
He was silent for the space of a few heartbeats. "Do you want me, Riannen?"
My eyes widened. "Do you think I would be sitting here if I didn't?"
"I don't know." He chuckled. "Even if we'd known each other longer than we have, I suspect you'd still surprise me."
I smiled. I couldn't help it. "I'll take that as a compliment."
His laughter was warm and comforting, and wrapped around me like a familiar blanket. "Please do. It was intended as such."
The laughter died slowly, but its warmth still filled the air. He watched me like he could fall into my eyes, or slide into my skin and become part of me. It wouldn't have been half so terrifying if my body hadn't been yearning for exactly that.
He moved slowly, pressing closer to me, bending his head down. His hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me towards the edge of the table. My legs had nowhere to go but around his waist. Our chests brushed, our hips matched perfectly against one another. I let out a soft hiss at the feel of his erection pressed against my stomach. I didn't like the answering tug that echoed within me, wanting him.
No, that was a lie. I didn't want to like it. But gods help me, I did. I loved it.
Kyl's face was a breath away, his lips hovering just over mine. All I had to do was shift to close the distance between us. His breath skated across my face, brushing heat over my cheeks and throat. I didn't close my eyes, and neither did he. We watched each other as lust spun between us. It was tangible. I could feel it in every fiber within me. Maybe I couldn't hold it, but it was tangible nevertheless.
Neither of us moved. We just stood like that, frozen, watching each other with unblinking stares. I wanted to push him away. I wanted to fist my hands in that satin shirt and pull him against me, to truly feel his body against mine. This light brushing wasn't enough. My body yearned for more. It yearned for everything.
"Riannen." His voice was low, husky. Almost unrecognizable. I swallowed the stone in my throat.
"What?" It was a hoarse whisper. Damnall, I couldn't manage more.
Kyl shifted. He stroked a hand across my cheek; I shivered. "Don't fear me."
I shook my head. "I'm not afraid of you, Kyl." It was the truth. I was afraid of many things, but not him. Not anymore. Some small place in the back of my mind shouted that that was a very bad thing. But it didn't seem to matter.
"You're afraid of something." The pressure of his touch increased. He ran his fingers down my cheek, easing away the tension gathered at the edges of my mouth and corners of my eyes. "You can't deny that."
"No." My breath shuddered as a inhaled. "But I'm not afraid of you. Just...wary. Of this." I swept a hand out, gesturing at everything and nothing.
He nodded. I didn't need to elaborate. "Why wary?" His hands pulled me even tighter against his body. "I won't hurt you, Riannen."
"I know." The breath backed up in my throat. He had no right to feel that good against my body. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't."
"Then what?"
"Damnall, I don't know." The desperation in my voice, or something in my face, must have pulled him out of his lust. He took a small step back, not leaving me, but giving me space. I was grateful for it as I bent over, elbows propped on my knees, breathing in choking gasps. "Dammit, Kyl, I don't know. I don't know bloody anything." My voice was harsh, grating to my own ears from emotions I couldn't name. I drew my knees up to my chest, heels propped on the edge of the table, and pressed my face into my thighs.
Kyl took another step back. I could suddenly breathe again. It no longer felt like I was trying to inhale feathers. I kept my arms wrapped around my legs, but I lifted my head. I propped my chin on my knees, watching Kyl across the distance that seemed suddenly massive. Concern was etched across his face, written in the furrow between his brows. His hand lifted as if he would reach for me. He hesitated, then dropped it back to his side.
"Riannen, please talk to me," he said quietly. "I want to help."
I drew in a deep breath and let it out in a heavy sigh. Some of the pain that gnawed at my heart eased. I swallowed and shook my head. "I don't know."
"Please, Rin."
The diminutive made me frown, but I didn't mention it. We could talk about it later. At the moment, it was insignificant. I caught my lip between my teeth, biting hard. I didn't know how to tell him what he wanted to hear. I didn't understand it myself. He looked at Kyl, and the earnestness within his gaze made me long to tell him. But damned if I knew how.
The sweet copper taste of blood seeped into my mouth. I cringed and released my lip. I hadn't realized I'd been biting it that hard. "I don't know who I am," I finally said. I didn't whisper; I was proud of myself. "I don't know anything about myself." I hesitated, frowning. Kyl waited; there was nothing else to do but continue. I released a sharp sigh, not quite exasperation. "I don't think kissing you is a good idea. I don't think it's a good idea at all."
A trace of amusement slid into his expression. "I beg to differ."
"Damnall, Kyl!" I slid off of the table, standing. But that lost me the height advantage; I was looking up at him now. I had liked it better when we had been on equal ground. "I want you. You know I want you. If I kiss you, it's going to lead to other things. Neither of us are naïve enough to deny that." I shook my head hard. "I can't deal with that right now. I can't deal with developing a relationship with you. I have to have a relationship with myself first."
His face was suddenly blank, unreadable. I liked it better when I could read his emotions on his features. "Because of your amnesia."
I nodded.
He made a frustrated noise. "You don't need a past to have a relationship, Riannen. You don't need to know your past to know your heart."
I grit my teeth. "I do."
"Why?"
"Gods above!" I stalked forward, furious. My hands balled into fists at my sides. "Why can't you just accept it? It's how I am. It's what I need. Accept it, or bloody well back off and leave me alone."
"Leave you alone?" His laughter was harsh, and anything but pleasant. "Would that it were that easy. Do you think I enjoy this? That I chose this?" His hands suddenly lashed out, closing around my upper arms. He pulled me towards him, knocking me off balance. I couldn't move my arms to brace myself, so I fell against his chest. The feel of iron muscles beneath the slick satin stole my breath.
He dragged up onto my toes, and his head lowered. He pressed his mouth against mine, and the feel of his lips stole my breath. I whimpered, a tangled, helpless sound. My hands were caught between us. I flexed my fingers, and the feel of his chest beneath my touch was staggering. His lips teased mine. His tongue flicked out and brushed across them, much as it had with my fingers. Fire licked through me; I gasped.
It was all he needed. He twisted his head, matching our mouths tighter, and his tongue slid into my mouth. Its tip stroked the length of my own, danced across the roof of my mouth. I moaned and pressed forward. Sanity had fled at the first touch of his tongue against mine, and I didn't care about amnesia. I didn't care about anything but his kiss, his taste.
He let go of my arms. He didn't need to hold me anymore; I had no thoughts of fleeing. He slid his arms around me, his hands brushing over my back. He traced the line of my spine from nape to waist; a cry caught in my throat. I shivered against him.
I slid one hand up his chest and over his shoulder, to the nape of his neck. I buried my fingers in the baby-fine hair there, sliding through the silken curls. No man should be blessed with hair that beautiful. My other hand slipped around his waist and spread across the thick muscles that shaped his shoulders. I pulled him close, loving the pressure of his chest against mine. My hand on his shoulder slipped lower, tracing a path from shoulder to waist. There I hesitated, unsure, my hand cupping the slight narrowing of his waist.
Kyl tore his mouth from mine, but he didn't let me go. I'd have pulled him back if he had. The feel of his body against mine was marvelous. He lifted his head and looked down at me. "What's wrong?" A subtle tension tightened his features. His eyes with dark with a need that echoed my own.
I shook my head. "Nothing. I--" I swallowed and frowned. I didn't know what to do. I knew what I wanted to do, but worry nagged at me, creating uncertainty where moments before, there had been only desire.
Kyl watched my face for a moment, his expression intense, as if studying moment. It cleared a moment later. He smiled as if he'd read my mind, and understood. "You can touch me, Rin," he whispered, tilting my face up towards his with a knuckle tucked beneath my chin. "You don't have to be afraid to touch."
"I know." The stone had lodged itself in my throat again. I swallowed hard. I glanced away from him, suddenly self-conscious. "I--"
He covered my hand on his waist with his own. I hesitated, then looked back at him. The heat in his gaze stole my breath. "I want you to touch me, Rin," he whispered, his voice low and husky. He laced his fingers through mine, then shifted, slowly moving both of our hands around to his lower back, and then lower. He was muscular even down there. His breeches clung to him; they might as well have been a second skin. I couldn't tear my gaze away from his. We stared at each other, silent need and mutual desire pulsing between us. I licked my lips and moved on my own, spreading my fingers slightly over his ass.
His hands continued to move over me, following the slow, excruciating rhythm that I set. His fingers dug into my back, kneading. I smiled and leaned forward, resting my lips against his shoulder, just above the line of his collar. He tasted like the sea, wild, free. I couldn't resist temptation; the closed-mouth kiss slid to an open-mouthed one. I gently licked his skin. I loved the taste of him on my tongue. I slid lower, lapping the sweat from his collarbone.
"Rin." His voice was soft, commanding. I paused and glanced up at him. He slid his fingers beneath my jaw and gently lifted my head. "We should stop."
I frowned. The sound that slid from my throat was wordless, but it was protest nonetheless. I tried to pull him closer.
"No, Rin." He put more force into his words this time. His hands slid back, covering mine again, but this time he lifted them and stepped away from my reach.
I stared at him. "Moments ago, you were asking me to touch you. Now you're making me stop." I shook my head. "I don't get it."
His breathing trembled. He pulled a hand through his hair, fisting it at his nape, and turned away. I waited. He glanced back at me over his shoulder. "I want you."
I laughed. "Telling me to stop doesn't do much to get that message across."
He shook his head. "I want you, Rin. But you're vulnerable."
That got my attention. I blinked, and my focus on him sharpened. "Excuse me?"
"Don't take that as an insult, please. But you can't argue with it--you're injured and in a completely alien environment, and you're vulnerable. You tried to tell me that before, and I should have listened then. I'm listening now. It won't be fair to either of us if we continue this."
I frowned. My hands still yearned for the heat of his flesh; I crossed my arms over my chest and trapped my hands against my ribs. "You don't think telling me to touch you, and then pushing me away, is any less unfair?"
His smile was rueful. "I am sorry."
I nodded. "I know." I drew a deep breath and smoothed my hands over my shirt. It had bunched up while we'd been plastered all over each other. "So how long do I have to wait until you decide I'm not vulnerable anymore?"
"I don't know." Regret laced his tone.
Well, at least he'd told the truth. I sighed and shook my head. "All right. Do me a favor, please?"
"Anything."
"When you've decided I'm responsible enough to make decisions for myself, let me know." I spun and left, but not before catching a glimpse of chagrin on Kyl's face. I had to smile. It had been a good exit, if I did say so myself. It would have been better if I hadn't been trapped on the damned ship with him anyway.
