(no subject)

I'm rapidly growing to hate school. And that saddens me, because I've never hated school. I've resented it, and wished I hadn't had to go, but I've never hated it before. Then again, I've never been as serious about writing before, either. All of the projects I'm working on right now are difficult, powerful projects, and I need to be able to concentrate on the to work on them. But I can't do that while I'm in school. While I'm in school, my schoolwork is always hovering around in the back of my mind, and I'm having a lot of trouble writing. Not writing--I've been doing some short (up to 1k) exercise and haven't had a problem. But every time I go to work on the bigger projects, I freeze up. I stare at the screen, and I can think of nothing but how long it'll take me to finish my homework for the night, and how late I'll have to stay up if I put it off like I usually do. I hate that. Maybe another facet of it is that I'm taking two honors classes this year, and Freshman and Sophomore years I didn't take any. It's quite a leap, and I'm struggling to keep my head above the water with them. I'm almost halfway through the school year, and I don't think I can keep this pace up. I've had a reprieve, because the BN class has been postponed on account of Holly's deadlines, but when it starts back up again, it's going to be hell. And the only thing I can do is hold on and keep kicking and hope that it'll all calm down at the the start of the new semester. Because I'm not willing to give up on my writing, and I'm not willing to take CP classes and hurt my chances of getting into a good college. I'll keep my fingers crossed, but I'm not holding out much hope.