Mar. 6th, 2009

allichaton: (Default)
Someone mentioned to me earlier the desire to steal his girlfriend's attention away from a good book she was reading. After I'd overcome my horror at the very idea, I warned him that he might be putting himself in grave danger to do so.

Ultimately, the conversation led to this: a rubric for how to gauge whether my attention may be safely stolen away from the book in my hands, based on the answer to the question, "How's the book?"

I'm reposting it here because I find it slightly hilarious. ^_^

  • No acknowledgment of the fact that you've even asked a question = you hold your life in your hands if you interrupt me now
  • ".......Um...*drags herself away from the book* What? Did you say something?" = I may not kill you, but I'll probably maim you if you interrupt me now
  • "Good. It's very, very good," spoken in a daze without once tearing my gaze away from the book = I am going to be SERIOUSLY GRUMPY if you interrupt me right now
  • "Ooh, it's really good! Here, let me tell you about what is happening and why I love it so very much!" = You may interrupt me, so long as you are willing to listen to me enthuse about the book. Any change in topic will result in me going back to said book. You have been warned.
  • "It's great!", "It's good!", or any variation thereof = if you're determined, you can probably pull me away from it for a little while, but I won't thank you for interrupting my reading time
  • "It's okay" = probably safe to try to get my attention
  • "Ugh!" = "Oh dear god, I'd rather listen to a deaf cat in heat yowling in the middle of the night than continue reading this thing. Please, distract me from this atrocity!" (This is NOT to be confused with "Augh!", however, which is usually best translated as, "I can't BELIEVE you expect me to give you ONE SPEC of my attention whene THESE PEOPLE ARE IN MORTAL PERIL! I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT LEAVE ME ALONE OR I SHALL THROW THINGS AT YOUR HEAD!")


Also, any hint of squeeing, bouncing, grinning like an idiot, swooning, sighing, or clutching the book to one's breast is a fit of glee should be taken to mean, "GO AWAY, I'M VERY BUSY RIGHT NOW."

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allichaton

April 2009

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